Egg Tempera Forums

Go Back   Egg Tempera Forums > The Forums > Critique Forum

Critique Forum Post your work here for constructive criticism

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 02-07-07, 03:43 PM
alexgarcia
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default El Boricua - Latest Painting

Thank you for looking.

6"x8" ET on Panel


Detail:
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 03-07-07, 02:50 AM
Dennis H's Avatar
Dennis H Dennis H is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Auburn, AL, USA
Posts: 177
Thumbs up

Alex,
I wish I could see facial planes (and render them) as clearly as you! Beautiful job.
As for constructive criticism, I think it would be nice to see your brush strokes that model the flag follow its drapery planes with the same kind of turn around the form as you have done with the head. I'm referring especially of the upper white stripe in the shadow. The darker strokes there seem to counter the undulating surface of the flag, as do the lighter strokes in the white stripe below it. I wonder if you might consider laying on one more layer of brush strokes on those two stripes to follow a bit more closely the topography of the flag that the stripes themselves describe? (I didn't state that very clearly, did I?) I guess what I mean is that the cross-hatching on some areas of the flag seem to flatten the surface rather than follow and evoke its billowing planes. Not necessarily a bad thing, but against the fully volumetric rendering of the face, it appears slightly like a flat backdrop instead of a 3-dimensional element moving in and out of light and space.
If you do rework those areas, perhaps the color you put down in the shadows could be just a wee bit lighter than the dark strokes that are now the topmost color. I think if you end up with a lighter value over a darker one there, it will make the shadows more luminous. (Seems like you've done a little of that already in the upper white stripe as it approaches the sunlit part near his head.)
At any rate, super painting. It looks fantastic without another mark added. Thanks for sharing it.
Dennis
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-07-07, 01:35 PM
alexgarcia
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Dennis,

Thank you for your very good observations. I will work on your suggestions. That area did give me alot of trouble so I am glad you were able to give me some direction on how to make it better.

Alex
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 11-07-07, 03:44 AM
mona's Avatar
mona mona is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 205
Default El Boricua - Latest Painting

Hi Alex,

I agree with Dennis's comments overall. I am a big admirer of your
portraits. I also like the idea of personalizing one's patriotism with a portrait set against the flag.

One thing I would add to Dennis's comment about the white stripe cross-hatch area, (I agree that the dark lines are distracting) would be that there are a lot of colors within the white areas of any painting. Often white reflects whatever surrounds it. The flag's white stripe next to a red stripe will reflect some color off the red neighboring stripe, so there could be some kind of warm color scumbled over the bluish shadow on the white stripe. In a flag I recently painted I used an orange scumble over the gray shadow of the white stripe, and hints of a red glaze thinly applied. Everyone's palette is unique, so I hesitate about suggesting what specific colors would be the right applications for yours, but the trick is also to think of the flag as a flowing, undulating surface, and to allow the shadows and light areas of the flag to be lively in framing or perhaps even appearing to lightly brush or 'embrace' the man's face (I don't know if this latter idea would be in line with your intention or not).

It's a very dynamic composition, and all best wishes with this piece.

Mona
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 11-07-07, 02:55 PM
PhilS's Avatar
PhilS PhilS is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Sargentville, Maine
Posts: 222
Default

Alex,
There is a dark line outlining his forehead which I find distracting. There is enough contrast between the forehead and the flag that it isn't necessary. A minor quibble, though. Wonderful painting overall!
Phil
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-08-07, 05:22 PM
AlexGarcia AlexGarcia is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Allentown, PA
Posts: 58
Default

Thank you for your thoughts, Phil and Mona. I appreciate your insight and taking the time to comment.

I have a tendency to not work out all of these issues before hand and then I am left with problems. I am learning from all this though, thanks again.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 22-11-07, 10:59 AM
karen lee karen lee is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Milwaukee WI
Posts: 5
Default

Your work is awesome! Looking at the brushwork in the white stripes in the flag, I have to ask, are you left-handed?
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 26-11-07, 06:33 PM
AlexGarcia AlexGarcia is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Allentown, PA
Posts: 58
Default

Karen,

Thank you. I am actually right-handed.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 03:07 AM.
Design modifications, graphics and CSS by RobM
June 2010



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.